Hey mom!
Today people are celebrating Mothers day. They’re posting pics and writing sweet things about their moms. While here I sit, lost and scarred. I don’t know where to begin. I wander where I’ll get a pic of us when we were still together. Mom, what will I show the world.?
Should I tell lies like you taught me? That I have no father, that no man conceived me. That you did it all by yourself. And I believed you, because I knew not the Science of reproduction. Maybe you abducted me.
Or Should I start by reminiscing?? when I was five, and home you could come drunk, with a strange man, you were halfly dressed and barely sobber. You would tell me to close my books, put off the candle light and go to sleep. Mom, I would do that, but I wouldn’t sleep. Because the screams that came out of your room tormented me. Mom, I was just five years old. And those screams, were the last I ever heard of you.
Today, as people wander where they would be without their moms, I’m perplexing to where my mom went to without me. Are you dead mom? Are you alive mom?
This is probably one of those wishes I have. A thing with wishes is that you write them down and burn them out, hoping they’ll come true. I don’t have a sweet memory of you yet, I only get a glimpse of who a mother should be when someone wishes their mom a happy mothers day. You were the one close person of being my mother but you never did. And I’m constantly wandering why you told me to go to sleep, and when I woke I never saw you. You left me alone mom. Did that stupid smelly stranger tear you from me?? Did you find another kid so you abandoned me??
There’s nothing much you ever did for me, but you carried me for 9months. You took care of me till I was 5_years, then you left, so I dropped out of school. I know this is not the life you wished for me, your son, but I still need my mom back.
Its 15years mom, beards on my chin, I can make a girl pregnant, start a family. But how can start a family when I don’t have a place to stay? Or a job to keep? Or food to eat? The streets are my home, the gang is my family, my gun is my older brother, it protects me from the police. But for how long mom?? For how long till they gun me down??
I’m still holding on because you’re my mom. I know I shouldn’t be looking for you, or miss you. You’re my mom, there are things that are natural.
I just wish I could find you.
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