Of nostalgia, melancholies and dreams we once had. …

(Of nostalgia, melancholies and dreams we once had but was forced to forgo)

Part 1.

Back in high school I had a girlfriend who was just a friend. Occasionally we could talk, share dreams, or sometimes just sit in silence. She was the kind who knew of boyfriends, lovers and love letters long before I even knew that I too, could fold my lips into a kiss. She wasn’t my first kiss though.

“Phill, look at me, I can’t just wake up one day and decide to put my life on hold for just one person, who even I wasn’t born with….” She would say sometimes, after having some petty arguments with her then boyfriend. Who I never cared to meet. Or be acquainted with.

There’s nothing much I could’ve said on my part, not that I lacked words, but innately I was always the type of guy who spoke less but listened much. She would go ahead and curse that boyfriend of hers. Saying, I never will allow him to touch me again. I could laugh at her. ( I can still see the younger me laughing at her as scowl formed on her forehead)

Now years have since passed, and much have changed not just in me but in her as well. As much as I’d like not to admit, nothing has changed in me. At least she keeps forcing it down my throat.

She’s now happily married. To the same boyfriend she used to curse at school. She has just one kid, 3 years of age, a baby girl, who reminds me of her. A baby girl who more than once I have baby sitted like my own. And I, I’m still her friend. Actually, still their friend. Luke and I have grown to be buddies. I’m more of their “bro” now. Luke is a hard working guy. He is the owner of the best IT companies in town. Celine, is a business woman of her own. She runs her own fashion line and a boutique. I on the other side I’m still an employee of the Central Bank.

It’s only during weekends that I have to spend with them. Even then they are always utmostly busy, so it’s Tammy their daughter that oftenly keeps me company as I play fifa or do some study on my laptop.

If Celine comes back from work, I know she’ll tell me to get a life. She’ll tell me that’s it’s been long since I introduced her to one of my chicks. She’ll ask me what happened. She’ll tell me that she misses the days that I was free when I shared my deepest fears with her. “Is it because of Luke?” She will ask that too, I know. She’ll ask me about the women in my life, and I’ll proudly say she’s one of the women in my life, and my favourite is Tammy. I always say this while giggling Tammy. Her mother on the other end, will stare at me with deducing eyes. Trying to form and answer her own questions. “Phill, what happened?”

She’ll ask for my phone, and go through unread messages from girls whose names she never heard of. “What happened Phill, of late you’ve been so detached from the world. I miss the old you who had pride, who burnt hearts of women with romance and desire. What changed in you, Phill, what is it? For you come here when you want to hide from the world.”

As I’m holding Tammy. It appears that Celine has been sitting at the diner all along. Speaking. I thought I was having a monologue; she was there talking to me.

“Tell me Phill, you were once good, cheerful, funny, you had hope.”

“Celine, sometimes good things happen to bad people nd they become good, then the bad happens and such folks become worse.”

I said as I put Tammy down.

“What does that mean?”

“Celine, I’m sick. I don’t have much time left. ”

I reached to the door. Leaving I was.

“See you around!”

As written by Phill Ibsen ( Master Of Descriptions )