“We once were our biggest distraction, we lost us when we couldn’t have us”
She’s lying on bed, feeling not alright. She hopes that he knew, but he doesn’t. How else is he to know when she never told him. How else is she to tell him when they barely talked?
She’s lying on bed holding her phone. Unlocking her screen, hoping to find a text message. Or a PCM. But she finds none. At night, she goes to bed without a goodnight text or a kiss from him. But she doesn’t give a damn. Others cares for her anyway. So she sleeps with a light mind and a gay soul, whence her heart is heavier with the love she felt and once gave him.
She’s on her phone revising the texts he once sent her. But she doesn’t fathom even an inch of them, for unto her the memories they once held repatriates to her. Tears boils neath the emblem of her eyes, bile burns her womb. Tears fall on her lips washing away the words and the promises she once spoke of. She’s stronger than this. She can’t feel this way. So she marks all his chats and then hit the delete button. Hoping to forget. So she closes her eyes and drifts off to slumber. The next she wakes up in a dream, in it, its entirety peaceful.
He’s walking around in town aimlessly, and each time he makes a turn she conjures in his mind. He notices the first spot they kissed. Around the corner he can still see them clutching arms. Racing time. They built a fortress in this city. The city life ‘came fond of them. And she was a queen who ruled his empire. And the sunshine, how would he ever forget of the sunset. He unlocks his phone, and texts, “I miss you so much!” But oh no! He doesn’t send it. His pride won’t let him.
He revises her previous text but it cut through him. The hurt and smiles as he reads them through in gale. Not anymore he says, so he marks her chats and hits the delete button.
The city grew small for both of them. They grew big for the city, and they wouldn’t quite find happiness in it. Both had a dream, but dreams were held back by their past that came slithering inform of the serpent. Whence one left, they suffered a void. In prospects, they spend half of their lives filling the void.
In the big city, he spends his time searching for her face. He’s searching for her smiles and the sound of her voice. He braces through winter, he passes through deserts, and even during dry spells, none he’d rather have than her.
She’s slowly getting used to his absence. After all, his nature, his cold heart and pride wouldn’t let him look for her. So she thinks. That she can easily replace him. True. That she can move on. True. But once in a while she has to think about once upon a time, and only then she might find him in her memories.
At times he feels like ripping his scrotum out, for if she can’t have them, then who will? sometimes she feels like scalping her womb out, for if she can’t bore him kids, then who will?
So they search for distractions.
She delves in books, booze and fun.
He broods in responsibility, poetry and booze.
For if time is the only test of true love, then they shall wait. He shall wait.
****
As written by Phill Ibsen ( Master Of Descriptions )
2017
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