(Conversations)

The next time you shall be seeing me, I’ll be in a prison cell. You will come for a random visit.

(Crosses his legs together. With a cigar stuck between his lips, he explodes into a laughter..)

nah, nah, nah, of course I won’t be the warden, that’s too cheap for the taste of my cigar.

(He blows a curly thread of smoke into the air, and stares at it’s form diminish into nothingness.)

I will not be the security either. Come on, that’s a profession that even my whiskey cannot stomach. It would vomit it out before it touches it’s lips.

(Holds a glass of bourbon whiskey in his hands, laces it with ice cubes. Gulps it’s contents. He sighs.)

You must be wondering, what does this got to do with you. I know. Give me time, you’ll know.

I will be a prisoner. Not an ordinary prisoner. Was I convicted for murder? I don’t know. Was I convicted for attempting suicide? (Chuckles,) that’s heinous, right? You were the judge and the jury. I pleaded guilty. So here I am. With you.

(Gives a sly smile, rolls the cigar on his lips).

I know it’s confusing at first. I’ll break it down for you.

(Leans forward, then whispers)

But so to be clear, I am in here not because of you. I wanted to be here. It’s not your fault. You never failed me.

Here, this will help cool your nerves.

(Pours whiskey, into another glass.)

Do you remember the first time we met? You were with your friends. I didn’t say much, I asked for your number. You wouldn’t have given it to me, if I wasn’t persuasive. Then I asked for your name, you lied at first. But when you told me your real name, on a phone conversation, what was the first thing I said?

YOU: you called me a pretty liar.

Nah, before I called you that. I said something else. What was it?

YOU: you said I had a beautiful name.

Nah, that was after, but before saying that, I said something else. I said, you were too good to be true. Didn’t I?

YOU: I guess you did.

I know you can’t recall explicitly. But, you see this right here?

(pointing to his head with one end of his cigar)

This is a damn good memory box…..Remembers everything. Even the tinniest. Cherishes everything. Even the most horrible of people. See, you were like a counterfeit note. So brand at sight. So attractive. But when scanned, you find out that everything is perfect except just a tinny detail. You realize that it’s a fake. Tell me, ever came across those fake notes?

(Silence.)

I wasn’t so sure I could be real with you. I was afraid of being a random guy. I needed something more. You never gave me that confidence that we were real, not just counterfeits.

YOU: I remember some moments though.

You do?

(Gets Excited)

YOU: the first time I ever saw you laugh. We were walking down the streets. Told you something about my childhood. Some of the most embarrassing things. You found them funny. You laughed non stop. Till I could see your missing tooth at the far edge.

You lying. I don’t laugh out loud with an opened mouth.

(Laughs, and tries to hide it.)

YOU: see, the feeling that you gave me. Knowing that I could make someone laugh and feel good. Made me want to make you laugh more. Sorry, you’ve always been funny,and I grew so much comfortable in your company.

(Sighs) I don’t know where my love for whiskey and cigar stemmed from. I guess it’s the way they mate inside my mouth that makes me feel good.

Something pushed me to the edge of the cliff. I snapped out. I lost myself. I did what I did to escape the excruciating inflicts of self destruction. Sometimes I feel that I belong to this place. These walls. In this cell. Where you on the other side, I can’t even touch your face. I don’t need a lawyer. I don’t need redemption.

Do you remember the first time we got into a fight ?

YOU: Oh God!! (Laughing, as you hide your face behind your hands) it was a horrible fight. Can’t believe we went through that. I won the battle though.

No, I let you win. It was the battle of our lifetime. Can’t imagine we stuck through the years.

(Both, are now wearing the face of “I’m glad we made it”.The nostalgic memories shuffles before them. Smiling. Sipping. Blowing out smoke. Jazz music plays on in the background. Lights are on. It’s a Saturday evening, at a restaurant in town.)

I know this ain’t the fanciest of places to confess and come clean. Yes, I’m guilty. I did it. Please summon me to life imprisonment. Only then my act can be tamed. I need no trial. Just take me there by yourself. I’ve been far riding free. Don’t let me roam alone in a world so cold.

(Gets up from his seat. Almost staggering, but keeps to his steps. Goes down on his knees.)

I’m guilty for loving you. You don’t need to sign my intake papers. Just take this ring.

(Legs shaking. hiding your gaze. Shyness was an act you were blessed with.)

Having said all that, amidst my drunken stupor. Will you……

Will you take me home??

(He stares at the curly smoke disappear, he is all alone, once again)