Everyone is expecting to see you, to know who you are, my girlfriend is curious too, she keeps checking on my phone. She’s hired a private investigator. My neighbour heard waves of your existence, she keeps asking me the same question over and over. My mom is restless, she’s wondering between you and my girlfriend, which is which? My father acts like none of this matter. He’s right. My siblings, mostly my sister gives me the side stares exclaiming, “mmmh Phill…!?” The local authority are on to me too, they wondering who are you? Where do you come from? Are you an alien? Are you hot? Are you a bomb? Can you cause man destruction? Painters have drawn your portraits. They hung them along the streets, each looks differently. I must admit, I’m impressed. They’ve got your portrait going on for 2k. Poets have Written poems about you. Songs have been composed just for you. Children have given you names. I think they all befit you. They wonder when will you ever show up. So they set a date, and on this date, they alway celebrate you. Hoping one day, you’ll show up,and save their son.
Dear Crush, I know you’re scared. You’ve got every reason to be. Probably we shouldn’t meet physically, there’s no need. ‘Cause in my mind we’ve met a million times, and we’ve said hundreds of hellos. Maybe we shouldn’t do anything, and prolly don’t be shy the first time I’ll ever see your naked body, ’cause in my mind have undressed you, a couple of times. In my mind have kissed you, and have seen your perfect curves and trimmed along your edges with my teeth. Have removed your favorite panty and unhooked your favorite bra bit by bit. Have carried you to the sink, and kissed you and heard your hot hair streaming through my lobes. We’ve sat at the balcony, smoked and made love on my mother’s couch. We’ve gone to the market together and we’ve said hellos to the villagers. I’ve done all these crazy things with you, sometimes I forgot who you are, nothing but just a crush.
My girlfriend is not crazy. She keep asking her friends where does she fit in this equation. Maybe it’s a one sided equation. Late night smooches, she broods up to me, saying..
“Babe can we talk?”
“About what..?”
“About your crush…”
“What about her..?”
“Do you love her..?”
“She does not exist…”
“You sure. .?”
See my girl is not crazy. She just doesn’t know that I created you. That I Breathed life into you. That I gave you a name. I gave you fame. She’s been trying lately to impress me. Doing all the things that I like, she goes down on me like I like. She gives it to me wholeheartedly like never before.
I don’t know where you are, but in my mind we’ve felt in love. We’ve married. We’ve had children. We’ve grown old together. Probably we might die too. So maybe, I’m writing this to you in my after life, asking you, where do we belong?
So dear crush, tell me that you listening. Tell me that you’re somewhere waiting for me. That you’re still a virgin. Tell me, that you still have that dude, you love him, but please tell me you’re lying to him, even if it will mean that it’s me you’re lying to. Tell me that you won’t make it. And leave me in peace. Let my girlfriend trust me once again. I don’t mean that. Maybe once a crush always a crush, it will never be nothing more.
Dear Crush, I got to go. If you ever find the courage to be with me. I’ll forgo the present to start a future with you .
*****
As written by Phill Ibsen
( Master Of Descriptions )
A Heart_Art_Poetics productions
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