So, ahem!
He’s now dating my ex. In the wee hours of the night while playing FIFA my phone vibrates. It’s a text from my ex.
“Hey Phill, you awake?”
“Yes, I am awake.. what’s up?”
“Imagine I’m laying on bed naked… ”
“And….?”
“And my boyfriend is snoring beside me…. Can you believe that?”
“Actually I can believe how miserable you must be.”
Now I’m starting to wonder how that’s my problem to begin with. But the incoming text immensely fucks the brains out of my scrotum.
“Phill… My boyfriend doesn’t treat me right. He doesn’t fuck me good… I miss you”
First, I smile. Then I give out an evil hysterical laughter laced with that Santa Claus’s laugh, “hohohoho… Hohohoho merry Christmas” not at the taste of what she had texted but at what Heun Min Son has just done. I’m playing Totenham Hotspurs against Manchester United on FIFA 18, and out of nowhere Heung Min Son has pulled an amazing move on the right flank, dribbling the ball pass Antonio Valencia in a swift move that leaves the defender’s two legs spread flat on the ground. Now I know that seems a lil bit off, but hey, it’s FIFA and I’m the master.
On the background, commentator Allan Smith says something along the lines of, “what a game… What a move..” The fans are cheering. And if there’s something that excites the fans; something that milks the crowd, it’s when the winger is a few inches from the goalkeeper, and the most vicious defender is charging towards him. In this case it’s Heung Min Son, charging towards him is Eric Baily, and if you’re a football fan then you must know what I mean by Eric Baily, like this guy would do absolutely anything to protect the goal, you wouldn’t get pass him that easily. On the goal there’s David De Gea, and this is one hell of a goal keeper, he makes those crazy saves when he ought not to. So scoring against the duo is a toll difficult.
“Phill, I miss you…”
Now I have no idea what this woman wants from me, like a sex chat or a sex date? I don’t know. The words that comes out of my mouth are,
“bitch please… You made your choices so live with them!!”
Actually that’s the text that I send her.
“aki Phill, please..”,
She goes on begging.
Now in my world I have no idea why someone would waste a good pussy. And the most tragic thing is when you’re dating her and she constantly on her phone talking to her ex like he’s a fucking god, you’re on top of her and all she does is think of me, you cum in her and she misses how hot my cum was as if my cum was laced with marijuana or something stronger. After one shot, you fall to sleep then you start snoring. She texts me,
“Phill, he doesn’t fuck me good!”.
And I’ll be like
“bitch please, excuse me, you made your choices, so live with them”.
“Phill, aki please”
“Bitch, you always had pathetic taste in men…. ”
“Phill don’t do this..”
“… The only time you had it right, were the times that you had me… Move your ass on bitch.!!”
Now Eric Baily does the same thing I had already anticipated. He slides in to get the ball, but Heun Min Son flips the ball up, and heads it over to Ericksen who has a clear shot at the goal, but De Gea is already anticipating where Ericksen would hit the ball. To the left, Phill Jones is racing up to Ericksen, on the back Matic and Herrera are ready to swoop in from behind regardless of the cost. Now the crazy move would be to finesse a shot at the top corner, but whenever I play against Manchester United, it always hit the cross bar.
So I’m looking to exploit my opponent’s defensive errors, when I notice Harry Kane making a run, Ericksen makes an amazing through pass to Harry Kane, who without hesitation hits the ball with such confidence that the commentator almost said, “it’s now or never..”. But De Gea punches the ball back to play, and it falls to Paul Pogba who artistically places the ball on his chest then knees, but Pogba being Pogba he fails to make the counter attack when Victor Wanyama gives him a soft tackle, gains the ball and passes it over to Heun Min Son.
We are in the dying embers of the game. Additional 4 minutes, this would be the last attack in the game. The scores are Totenham Hotspurs 1 and Manchester United 2. This would be a good chance for an equaliser.
There’s one thing I love about Heun Min Son, actually two, one, his dribbling skills and second, his finesse power. In attempts to regain back possession, Pogba races towards Son, Herrera tries to block Son as well, but Son has some sort of an eagle eye, he does not wait for Herrera, but makes a few stride forward, tilts the ball to his right foot, and strikes a snake ball that races between the defense legs. From far, it’s either the ball would hit the cross bar and jut it, or it would just jut in. David De Gea is not diving towards the ball, because the shot is uniquely placed that diving would require a superhero power.
Surprisingly, David De Gea dives when the ball is a few seconds away from netting. And he takes it out by an inch of his fingers. Ashley young tries to make clearance but it’s fowl, the ball goes to Harry Kane who loops the ball to find Dele Ali who heads the ball to be punched by De Gea. Eric Baily finds it and makes a superb clearance. As soon as the ball jets to the fans. The match official ends the game. Scores 1-2 in favour of Manchester United.
“Phill I still love you.”
“Bitch you crazy.!!”
*****
As Written by Phill Ibsen
(Master of Description)
Heart_Art_Poetics
2018
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