I was seated on the toilet bowl, reading a life magazine, offloading shit, when she barged in.

“I am so done with you!!”

She threw my phone to my face pausing a strain of shit on my butt hole as though this was its moment of bliss.

My phone fell inside the toilet pit as she stormed out, screaming,

“I can’t believe I was vulnerable with you”

I was rooted, stuck between ripping a tissue paper to pull the strain out, for the focus I had of pushing it out had vanished in that insane moment to be replaced by a speckle of aura that filled me with excitement knowing that a piece of evidence was being destroyed under me.

Knowing that I could have saved my phone from drowning when it needed me the most, yet I chose the easy way out, flushed it down, made it hurt less to put it out of its misery, made me feel some sort of a villaineous evil in his own story. It was the only thing that could incarcerate me or set me free.

Her prints could always unlock my phone, if that wasn’t a sign that I trusted her to keep a secret safe, and if so I would have all my assets pledged under her name, yet there was a zealous part of me that wanted her gone, a part which hoped that she could bang the door behind her to leave me shouting through the window,

“Free at last! Free at last! You are no longer welcomed here!!”

This was the part that wanted to prove a point, that all of them never last, that everything I love withers with time, and if so I’d be done with women, for the more I know about them, the less I know about them.

But there was also a part of me that broke. A part of me that saw in her a woman for me. A part that hoped that if she could stop for a second to turn back, she would find me naked racing behind her, and maybe she would laugh at my insanity, and say,

“Phill, What are you doing!?? You crazy?”

And she would come back inside and help me put my clothes on. And I’ll tease her, make her laugh, tell her I love her, then make love to her, the same way we’ve always made love every Saturday afternoon, laying side by side, few inches inside her, ramming into her from behind, as she turned her neck to kiss me, as I prepared my stiffness to explode a new universe inside her womb. Being inside another human being has never felt so sacred and holistic. She loved every stroke of it, smiled through it as though heaven was orgasmic away.

I took her leaving the doors open as an invitation to go after her, which I did, pulling my pants up.

“Cassie….”

I called out. She was racing. She was few metres away from the street lane. She stopped as I had anticipated, and when she looked back, her eyes did that thing that always broke my heart. She was crying.

“I loved you.”

She wept in past tense. Walked towards me, slapped my cheeks leaving me wondering whatever happened to the girl I felt in love with. It’s funny how minutes of leaving your phone with someone that you love can turn things around.

Seeing her tears flow endlessly made me reflect about who it was that I had conspired with to hurt her so immensely. What did she find on my phone? What was it that could possibly make her unlove me? For Love’s sake why did she touch my phone in the first place?

Her tears were a sign that her love for me was falling over the edge, withering like an ancient deciduous tree.

“Baby, come on, don’t be like that…”

She was backpedaling.

” Don’t come near me!! ”

Was it Sarah? Was it Jessy? Was it Lizzie? But I had ended things with Lizzie and told her I was settling down with Cassie. Did Sarah send a nude this time again? What did Jessy do this time round? No, it can’t be. I haven’t spoken with either of them for months. Was it my balance account? No, I had quit gambling, I promised her. Then what was it? Wait, I know what it was that she saw.

“Baby, listen to me, let’s go back and talk about this.. I didn’t mean to delete your Instagram account!!”

” It’s not that..”

“Then what is it? damn it! I’m getting my balls milked out here.”

“I’m done talking Phill, you can have everything to yourself.. ”

Miss Cathy, our neighbor had lowered her curtain, and was watching from an angle of depression while stroking Teddy, her cat. She saw a lean dark guy, bare chested with pants slightly below his waist (the sight excited her) moving towards a lady with long dark hair that draped on her face, each time trying to wipe her eyes. She couldn’t hear anything. She could also see a garbage truck winding up the street, making its way to our lane.

“Cassie, listen to me…”

“You don’t do that to someone, Phill, you really don’t when you love them.. ”

“I know baby, but do what exactly? I Love you so much, but right now listen to me”

Guilty or not guilty, it never mattered. I loved her, she loved me, that should mean something. I wanted to hold her once more, tell her it’s all done, my phone is gone, dead, no more troubles. She kept backpedaling, getting away from my filthy hands.

A garbage truck roamed.

“I can’t believe you.,”

“Cassie, Stop! Don’t move back!”

” You’re a liar Phill, always one. I don’t believe you. ”

The garbage truck protruded it’s nose at the bend of the lane.

” Cassie, watch your back. You will hurt yourself ”

” What’s the point? I’m already hurting ain’t I? How can I be watching my back when the thing that hurts is standing right on my face??”

She was right. The thing that hurts the most always stares you in the face, but the thing that kills you is always unseen.

“Baby please…”

” It ends today. Don’t come near me.”

She roared.

The truck was few seconds away.

I went after her, she eluded my grip, fell over the edge, I screamed. Her legs were the last to go. The garbage truck walked on, pressed on her bones, cackling in ache, yet She never screamed, she never had time for it.

“Cassie…. Baby… My love.. honeybun… Mash mellow… Sweetie… Baby girl.. ”

Baby girl never screamed. My eyes got acquainted with my tears. She called out my name softly, as the rest of me watched the best of me fade.

https://wordpress.com/alp/?aff=53876&cid=6659425

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Phill Ibsen
(Master of Descriptions)